The following questions and answers were collected from last year's GCSE exams, and are some of the answers given by British students writing their fifth form GCSE Exams last year.
These are
genuine responses from 16 year olds.
Geography
Q:
Name the four seasons.
A:
Salt,
pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q:
Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to
drink.
A:
Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large
pollutant like grit, sand,
dead sheep and canoeists.
Q:
How is dew formed?
A:
The
sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q:
What is a planet?
A:
A body
of earth surrounded by sky.
Q:
What causes the tides in the oceans?
A:
The
tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water
tends to flow towards the moon, because
there is no water on the
moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget
where the sun joins in
this fight.
Sociology
Q:
What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A:
If you are buying a house, they will insist you are well
endowed.
Q:
In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A:
Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an
election.
Q:
What are steroids?
A:
Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Biology
Q:
What happens to your body as you age?
A:
When you get old, so do your bowels and you get
intercontinental.
Q:
What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A:
He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his
adultery.
Q:
What is artificial insemination?
A:
When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.
Q:
How can you delay milk turning sour?
A:
Keep it in the cow. [He got an A]
Q:
How are the main parts of the body categorised? (e.g. abdomen.)
A:
The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the
borax
the abdominal cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax
contains the heart and lungs,
and the abdominal cavity contains
the
five bowels, A,E,I,O and U.
Q:
What is the Fibula?
A:
A small lie.